WOLF: Hey Phil! I'm just returning your salad spinner.
WOLF: I analyzed the mechanics and hypothesize that loading it improperly causes the whole thing to go off-balance, thereby increasing friction on the strainer axle and reducing overall rotational speed.
WOLF: I've therefore implemented some significant improvements to its design. By my calculation, it should be 8,333% more efficient at spinning lettuce leaves.
WOLF: It's entirely self-propelled, too. Just make sure these supercapacitor cells are fully immersed in the bucket of coolant before you push the power button.
WOLF: You should get approximately 37.4 minutes of run time.
WOLF: Oh and if you need to stop it in a hurry, push the big red button. Be sure to have this seimomoter connected first as it'll collect valuable diagonostic data.
WOLF: And if you can get your heart rate reading with 10 seconds, that'd be super useful, too.