Nov. 17, 2012 - Reader tournament - round 1

83 comments

Jan

Here are the results of the first round!

Congrats to Sporkula and Zaezar! Each of you are awarded 5 points. Sporkula gets an additional bonus point for a timely Monty Python reference. Corey and Ra Ra Rhi get 3 points for creative answers that I didn't have enough time to draw :D

Everyone else, award yourself 1 point if your entry mentions pigeons, horned helmets, or contains the letter "K".

Round two! (Aye, chapter 6 is still not complete.. waaugh! D: ) This one requires more thinking!

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

Safirah • 11/17/2012

"Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?"

No selling of dead parrots to customers. Seriously...it makes for excellent comedy, but not quite a the best thing for a satisfied customer! :3

And yes..that dead parrot IS a Monty Python reference. :3

Vlad Drago • 11/17/2012

I would enforce a law against the sale and distribution of skunk cabbage, those things are dangerous.

Bartimaeus • 11/17/2012

The law of gravity. I expect many violations, however.

Neo • 11/17/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

Pants off friday

kalasnokov • 11/17/2012

a law that only allows bread and pastries to be used as weapons.

Tigermark • 11/17/2012

two words: Pigeon Ban!

snicker

Jessica U. Ingmann • 11/17/2012

On the topic of this week's contest, I would enforce a law that every Saturn's Day (that's "Saturday" to us modern folk!), everyone in the kingdom would be forced to wear a silly hat. Anyone found not wearing a silly hat would come under penalty of being pelted with rotten produce! Inversely, citizens with EXCEPTIONALLY silly hats would be given a banana.

On the topic of last week's winning entries, you've gotta admit, the fact he knocked loose ANYTHING from the mightiest tree in the forest using only a humble herring is pretty impressive! X3

VEE141 • 11/17/2012

I'd make a law that once every year, people would dress up as thieves. That would probably cause chaos everywhere though x3

sporkula • 11/17/2012

Ohh thats a tough one. I can not make up my mind. It would be one of the two following ones

1) If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

2) It is illegal to leave your house if you are not wearing underwear

ChubbiestSphinx • 11/17/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If I could enforce a law, what it would be?

Males and Females must stay a minimun of 10cm away from each other bewteen the hours of 9am and 6pm.

kitarl • 11/17/2012

if I could enforce any law, interesting question, hmmmm, I know, id enforce the law that you cant bathe two kids in the same tub at the same time

Ilnara • 11/17/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

You must kiss a cod on Sunday.

LionkingCMSL • 11/17/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

Anyone found aiding, abetting or doing business with pigeons will be put in the pillory.

or Anyone not giving the prince pistachio ice cream will be flogged. :=3

Alien • 11/17/2012

The law of magnetism. Opposites attract, people! Act like it, for once! :P

Todd-Fox • 11/17/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

A tax on the criminal use of pidgeon feed

Duncan • 11/17/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?\\r\\n\\r\\nWell, not so much a law as a restraining order: citizens are not alowed to be closer than 200m from the sheriff... OR more than 500m away. (they\\\\'d have to move in a bullseye-like ring) ^w^

kazy • 11/17/2012

i would pass a law that would force all broccoli to be covered in cheese or face beheading

Darren100 • 11/17/2012

Law of Poetry readings.

All poetry readings must be supervised by a guard and contain no more than four people.

Fargo Wolf • 11/17/2012

@Ilnara "You must kiss a cod on Sunday." Lawrd tunderin Jesus, are you a Newfie? =P =D If so, do I get a shot of Screeh before I kiss said cod?

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be? I would enforce a law that requires warnings on all beans and burritos, in regards to the... Errrr... The flatulence that they cause.

<< XD

Welsh Halfwit • 11/17/2012

I'd enforce a law banning any new laws.

Doctor Bob • 11/17/2012

The law of shenanigans All citizens are given 5 shenanigans a day (with the option to purchase more from guards and authorized vendors (limit 25 total)) Anyone going over their limit of shenanigans must do good deeds equal to the number of shenanigans over the limit plus 3.

Roaming Shadow • 11/17/2012

"Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?"

Thou must possess hands in order to make monetary transactions. Those pidegoens are up to something I tell you, and I'm not going to let them get away with it on my watch.

Chris "Foxx" Yost • 11/17/2012

Seers must have a happy fortune once out of every five tellings.

bitflipper • 11/17/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

"Rule 6 -- there is no... rule 6"

BishopC • 11/17/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

No dropping of slugs in intersections. No one likes to feel a slimy squish between their toes unexpectedly.

Jared Voshall • 11/17/2012

Anyone found guilty of general mischief and misbehaviour shall henceforth be punished with... The Comfy Chair! (dum dum dum!)

Lunnas • 11/17/2012

Cookies for everyone Friday will be enforced. Those who do not give out cookies will be told they will be given cake but it is a lie.

Mune • 11/17/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

Ohhhh no.... None. Nope, nope, nope! I've seen what happens to guards in that city! Law enforcement, more like lawl encouragement!

;)

Letsfailable • 11/17/2012

I'd ban unsupervised barrel rolling, last week there were tree near lethal acidents

Giacomo Hawkins • 11/17/2012

Enforced celebration of Saturnalia, including reversed social norms. Thieves will provide money to their marks, nobles will provide table service for their servants, the dead will bring the mortician, and the cows will recite poetry while vixens listen in rapt attention.

Zaezar • 11/17/2012

What are the points used for again? I'm hoping to save up to get a pink elephant!

Zaezar • 11/17/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be? Trip-wire catapult permits. Too many of those things are on the loose, and it need to be controlled!

Pflarrian • 11/17/2012

Law enforcement for shenanigans? Ooo, oo, I can think of two: 1: Anyone who can SPELL shenanigans without looking it up gets a cookie. 2: Certain areas (mud puddles, skunk cabbage fields, etc) must be designated "silly walk zones." I mean, people usually walk silly in those areas ANYWAY (weird stepping through the puddles looking for dry spots or stomping through them to make a mess, tiptoeing through the cabbages so as not to step on one...)

The_Canidean • 11/17/2012

Gravity

The_Canidean • 11/17/2012

Oh, dang, somebody already put that one in. Lessee here... Tigers and vixens are to remain fully clothed at all times. ESPECIALLY when the city guard is watching!

sfreader • 11/17/2012

Running from a guard is full and sufficient proof of guilt; if no specific crime can be ascertained, the guilty party shall spend the next day making rocks into gravel, and hauling said gravel to any location deemed appropriate by the Captain of the Guard. "Flight" shall be considered "running away in the third dimension", and guards are authorized to use lethal force on such fugitives.

Comment: If they don't run, it's easy to arrest them; if they do run, they're no harder to catch than before, but require less court time -- and if they fly, they probably can't make gravel anyway (but can become a carnivore's supper!)

Ultimafox • 11/18/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what would it be?

In case of British knights at the front gate requesting permission, bring out a guard that has a French accent and can throw out insults perfectly.
In case of zombie invasion: have a pub called: The Winchester, hole up, have a pint, and wait for it to all blow over

DeathNeko13 • 11/18/2012

Do not tie your Giraffe to a lamp post.

Shariz • 11/18/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

"Everybody in Vale Valley has to help feeding Spider-Pig!"

TechUnadept • 11/18/2012

No jail time, but a summary fine no less than ten thousand peices of gold is to be paid. those who cannot pay are to be launched out of a catapult; anyone wishing to may loose arrows or musket balls at the airborne perpatrator.

Alun Rundle • 11/18/2012

No parking. Kart (& buggy) clampers in operation.

Ilnara • 11/18/2012

@Fargo Wolf No but my brother-in-law is a French Newfie.

Ooraka • 11/18/2012

My law would be no one can get a moose drunk unless they happen to have a bowl of fresh-water fish. Then, they must get the fish drunk too.

arkcine • 11/18/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?\r\ni would enforce causal underwear Fridays. it\'s a strictly seasonal law. \r\n\r\nand i do believe that we were supposed to enforce laws that limit the daily shenanigans, not increase them.

Silly Zealot • 11/18/2012

TechUadept has had a great idea right there! As for the law: Share your meal with your neighbourgh day! Wanna see what a crocodile and a hippo living next to each other do then!

Shiodoru • 11/18/2012

"Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what would it be?"

I would offically rename and a amended a law already in place:

Murphy's Law ----> Tor's Law "Anything that can go wrong [to Tor] will go wrong"

Ogden • 11/18/2012

"Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?"

I'd ban usage of pigeons as slingshot ammunition.

Drawr • 11/18/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?:

The right to arm bears. (Whether that would have a positive of negative effect on "daily shenanigans" is up in the air.)

Talon Drew • 11/18/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be? either;

1> Clothing Tax! pay up or we'll have the shirt off your back (and pants too) or

2> All persons to have a pigeon emblem, which must be displayed upon request .... who has what where?

Misty Crom • 11/18/2012

On every third Thursday - unless it should happen to fall on the 12th day of the month, captured criminals guilty of mischief, shenanigans and/or tomfoolery shall be made to choose either cake or death!

Or!

Guards and trouble-makers to trade places for the first weekend of every third month!

Ra Ra Rhi • 11/18/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be? The laws pertaining to the public displays of poetry. All poetry must be in the form of limerick, haiku, or free-verse. All poetry must include one of the following: One of the seven dirty words, a witty pun, a euphemism, the word sausage, or an inappropriate use of the word Uranus. Any poetry law breakers will be subject to long hours of the Nails on Chalkboard Band's greatest hits. That is all.

leashed • 11/19/2012

i call shenanigans o3o

Blake Wolfe • 11/19/2012

Tor and Silver shall be allowed to blame Loki for causing their shenanigans once a year.

Aurion Black • 11/19/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

All guards must use day old bread sticks for weapons. ;)

Aurion Black • 11/19/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?\r\n\r\nAll guards must use day old bread sticks for weapons. ;)

LeTigre • 11/19/2012

It is strictly forbidden to wear a chicken as hat during the times of 10 am till 14 pm or during the operations of firefighters, royal kitchen crew or local kindergarten workers. Violators will be punished with at least two portions of Borscht or three daily rates of gumbo.

Benjamin Wolfe • 11/19/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?\r\n\r\nNo carrier pigeons are allowed in the sky on the first and last Sunday of each month. If caught sending a message via pigeon you will be punished immediately. Violators will be stripped of there clothing and locked in the stocks for a day where they will have to endure the greatest of tortures... the feather!

Treaman • 11/19/2012

He who has the hiccups must be put in town square in front of a gathered audience while every1 who is watching comes up with ideas to get rid of them. If he does not do as the crowd suggests, he shall be subjected to any manner of torture a certain fiendish group can concoct... oh what did they call themselves... shudders, remembering the dreaded 'comfy chair'

Kilo • 11/19/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

i would pull a Pellagius (The Elder Scrolls reference) and outlaw Death

Iamar the Wolf • 11/19/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

Any Citizen, or persons in the employment of the monarchy, caught wearing horned helmets with pigeon motifs and singing lustily any operatic themes between the times of 12am to 10am will suffer severe punishment.

Sever punishment as follows: Being fully trussed up in theatrical pose(s) (and various expressions of suffering) and dipped in quick-drying plastar. The 'Statue of Humility' will be adorned in the market square for three days and nights. To all adolecents: Absolutely no drawing or colouring-in on the 'statues'. (Now heres a set of crayons and go away)

Fenris Wolf • 11/19/2012

Hmmn...does chapter 6 involve a quest for a shrubbery?

Crestlinger • 11/19/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

Ban All used brick sales.

Ngerfwoggle • 11/19/2012

I believe that Ra Ra Rhi and Darren100 are on the right track, but the obvious opportunity for revenue must not be wasted. Any speaking which involves rhyme or meter and artistically conveys emotional content (particularly of the romantic variety) shall require the speaker to have purchased a valid and up to date artistic license. All readings of poetry which are attended by more than 10 individuals, or 4 if any listeners are bovine, shall be monitored by a duly certified member of the King's Royal Bard for mischievous content, the delivery of such content to be punished by public flogging with eels.

Also, posters are to be exempted from the wrath of an artist who recognizes a blatant attempt to incite the tedious drawing of a crowd scene.

Dart Sureblade • 11/19/2012

Daily Shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what would it be?

If you ask me, I'm already doing a pretty good job of enforcing my law. The law of Shenanigans, everyone can and will do Shenanigans when possible. Even if they don't know that it is a Shenanigan at that time. If you do not, then you become part of someone's shenanigan.

Kaelgren • 11/19/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

Don't tug on the Captain's cape, don't spit in the wind, don't pull the pants off the old geezer and especially don't mess around in the local gym.

Drake • 11/20/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

I would enforce the Law of Hopscotch. All the roads would have the hopscotch (board? Set?) drawn on them and, during certain times of the day, everyone except the very elderly (and maybe even them) would be required to use those as their means of transportation around the city. it would slow down/tire out anyone about to commit shenanigans.

feralcat52 • 11/20/2012

Anyone found guilty of engaging in shenanigans will be punished by having to spend 48 hours in a cage listening to sales pitches and political speeches (pretty much the same thing, really) while being fed a diet consisting entirely of skunk cabbage stew

Furnonymous • 11/20/2012

Anyome engaging shenanigans will get spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam eggs spam spam spam spam spam and spam

Vanx D • 11/20/2012

I'd enforce Murphy's law, and Tor and Silver would be my deputies

Cronus • 11/21/2012

Rule 8: remember rule one,

i dare you to get that refrence

Torano • 11/21/2012

Fish bathed in holy water.

'Cleanliness is next to cod-liness', and all that.

Zoabeast • 11/21/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

Hear ye hear ye, By order of the sherrif Henceforth the only weapon allowed to be carried in the city will be Pidgeon Bazooka's

RCRuskin • 11/21/2012

No shoes, no shirt, no service.

That weasel • 11/21/2012

No whistling on a Tuesday!

Vanbael • 11/21/2012

I'd enforce the law of gravity.

Vanbael • 11/21/2012

wait...ninja'd on gravity... Hmm, I'd enforce the law of the DM/GM! (Dungeon's and Dragons reference)

LP • 11/21/2012

No leaning over on Tuesdays.

don't piss off the wizard • 11/22/2012

the new law of shenanigans: all shenanigans must be aproved and filed one week in advance and preformed by a licenced shenaniganer all violaters will be used as the victims of future shenanigans

Jan • 11/22/2012

Ohhhh my gawd, so many good ones already. This is gonna be hard to choose...! :D

Corey • 11/22/2012

Keeping true to form, I'd volunteer to enforce any law that is required of me so long as it keeps me away from Tor and Silver. Or we can use a standing WA State law. It is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that is longer than six feet in length.

Whitepelt • 11/22/2012

Daily shenanigans are on the rise in Vale Valley. If you could enforce a law, what it would be?

Anyone found bein the cause of general mischief and misbehaviour, is to be trialed by the Royal Court of Pigeons and be punished according to Pigeon Law ;-P

sporkula • 11/23/2012

Sorry. Couldn't resist... i tried. Honestly!

Your dead may not be brought out before tuesday morning.

Silverwolf • 01/09/2016

Well, even though I'm late for the contest maybe I could try for a few chuckles.

-"In the event of a sudden change in castle pressure, oxygen masks must be released from a compartment."

-"Flying persons, whether on a winged mount or flying on their own power, must contact traffic control before approaching the borders of the city. If such persons are bards, they must be instrument rated."

-"Executions by decapitation are abolished owing to the complaints of people who take head and never give it." (double entendre aside, the same phrase came up when I was in gross anatomy lab.)

-"Any dragon with an allergy must report for a free assessment with a certified healer for appropriate antihistamine therapy."

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